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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I packed it up and moved...

   I'm OH SO glad that you swung by, BUT I've moved over to wordpress. So come and join the madness over there. I can be found at http://www.nicklodeon.wordpress.com/

   I hope to see you soon...
   Peace and Love, Nick

Monday, August 2, 2010

Worthy of a side eye.. e_O

   I'll start with a story..
  I once knew a guy that was single. His last relationship had left him feeling a certain way about women so he decided to lay low for a while. During this time, he evaluated the things that he wanted out of the next relationship. He also evaluated what went wrong. What on earth caused the destruction of the relationship with the woman that he thought he was going to marry? He came to me at the end of this "reflection time" and told me what he'd found out. The best one is the one that we'll call the "fool's guide to idiodicy" and has stayed with me for years. This fool said,
   "I don't want a woman that wants me for my money.."
  And even though we were on the phone, I gave him the most ULTIMATE of side eyes. You know the one, the one where you actually pull the phone away from your ear and you look at it. Because there's NO WAY, on God's green planet that you heard what you just thought you did.
  *Theo, that is the DUMBEST thing I've ever heard!*
  I find that this thought runs rampant across men in my limited social circle. I don't want to generalize and say that they're just looking for reasons to stay emotionally unavailable, but I'll tell you why in this instance I call my friend's realization the biggest crock of sh*t I've probably ever heard..

 1. He has no job.
   How can a woman use you for your money when you have none? I didn't know that pebbles were currency in his world. The "Land of Dreams and Worthlessness." When you don't have enough cash to get your hair cut, much less for a woman to come along and want you to pay for her Gucci purse. But that nuh mek nuh sense! (sound it out, patois for the day!)

  2. He has no license, which works out because he has no car.
    Now I'm not knocking those who have no cars. For a while, I didn't either. However, in a city like Miami, not having a car will add on about 2 hours transit time to EVERY trip or errand. I understand if you live in DC or NY where the transit system is so on point that a car might be useless, but that doesn't work here. Not only that, but I find it crazy that an American citizen would have an expired (or suspended) license for no other reason than you were irresponsible and let it lapse. That's a no go. So when you take out this woman that's not using you for your money (because you have none) who's gonna drive? HER? In her car?! I think he might be scarred (hydraulically) straight out the gate.
  3. He lives with mom.
    That's all I need to write. Now, I'm not knocking the situation. Hell, I live with moms. However, my mother is a bit more "on the level" when it comes to male company than his mother is.

  4. He has 27 dreams, but is working on none.
    I don't think I need to stress how great ambition is. If your not having a job is a result of these economic times, then that's one thing. If you're working on your dream, that's great. Hell, I'm working on my dream (even though I post late). But the keyword here is "working:" He has his dreams out there. But I'm beginning to suspect that he only has them to justify why his days are spent doing nothing. If you ask him what he wants to do with his life, he'll tell you about all the plans, and want you to support him. BUT if you go a week and ask him what else he's done, the response is met with crickets chirping and owls hooting.

  We can all see that homeboy is lined up for success in the relationship department. And the truth of the matter is that this dude is like Kramer. Once he realizes that he wants a job, he just falls ass backwards into one. When he starts talking about getting a car, his family will help him because they love to believe that he's just gonna get it together this time. I have a talent for telling the truth in a way that will be receptive considering the audience. HOWEVER, I couldn't do it with him. I told him, "all these things are fine when you're in your 20's, full of ideas and hope for the future. But you're going on 30! Yet you want a woman of worth and bring absolutely nothing to the table. Someone can only want you for your money if you're giving it to them. These black women have entered an era where they DON'T play! You'll be lucky if she doesn't want to see your stock portfolio before you take her out in her car."

  I've reached my limit with this dude (we haven't spoken in a while). I spoke to someone over the weekend and he concurred with me that there's a very specific attitude toward men down here in Florida. It's a very, "you're lucky I looked at you" type of attitude. I always say this, but it IS like the Rick Rosses want the Stacey Dashes. The only difference is that Rick Ross HAS something that he's bringing to the table. And it's something more than telling everyone that he thinks he's Big Meech, Larry Hoover. (how many times can you say that in one song?)

  Was I too hard on him? Do you have a friend (or foe) that sees their life through rose-colored glasses? How would you have addressed him? It's no secret that I'm trying to become a little bit softer. But honestly, I'm 31 (32 on Saturday, write it down) I ain't got that kinda time. You can praise me or flog me in the comments...

   Update: Casper called me again on Friday. I looked at the phone.. "Uh uh!" Fool me once, shame on me.. Fool me twice and I load the gun!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Unprepared and Unorganized.. (feat. some returning characters.)

   So.. If you've been keeping up, you'll know that I got offered a marketing position at a company. I've recently been battling with whether or not I should keep the job to pursue writing. (I'm not keeping it) I got hired about 3 weeks ago and have worked 4 days since. I've gone to work 1 time in the past 1 1/2 weeks (to give you some indication)
   On Tuesday the secretary (that's supposed to be training me) blew up my phone and interrupted a nap, I saw it was her and let the voicemail hit that. She gave me 6 minutes to call her back and then blew up my text with all caps. It was URGENT! (and so?) I waited about half an hour (gotta keep em humble) and called her back. She said that the budget for a particular client got approved so now they needed help to assemble some displays. It's a tedious process that has so many steps that it takes forever. It's always done under some rush or impossible time constraint. (i.e. 400 displays done in one night) And could I come in tonight (after business hours) to help them assemble them. "They need to be done tonight so that they can get cut tomorrow." I asked her how many needed to be done and she said "350."
  I laughed... no, I GUFFAWED!

   I told her that I would come and what time did she need me. "Well, some corrections need to be made, they need to be printed. They'll be ready at 5, then I'm gonna pick them up, so come around 7." (beware of too many variables..)

   I'm walking to my car at 7 o'clock. (giving them some extra time) and my phone rings. She tells me that the flyers aren't ready yet and that I should come at 8 o'clock. *Exhale*
   At 8, I send this broad a text and ask if they're ready for me yet. "No, waiting for people to call when flyers are ready."
   When this heifer originally asked me to come in, I told her that I had plans at 10 o'clock or else they were gonna try and keep me there all night. Now she's setting me back by not having these things ready when they should be. I know it's not her fault that the printers didn't have the flyers ready but STILL! I've been sitting at this condo for over a week and then you want to rush me in one evening and not even be ready?

   I get a call at 10. OF COURSE this woman can't be calling me to tell me that the flyers are ready.
   Wrong.. WRONG!

   I called her back and she tells me that the flyers came in (so?!) and what did I wanna do? I tell her that I can't make it now (at 10:30 at NIGHT!) and she asks about tomorrow. I tell her that I have plans with my girl (I did) and that I'll swing by afterwards.
   Yesterday I get up out of the bed and get ready to go to the office. I dress lightly because last time we were assembling these displays in the garage with no A/C. My car also has no A/C and I make it a point to not really leave the house in the daytime.
   I get to the office and the woman goes "what's up?" a couple of times. I go, "are we doing these or what?" and she proceeds to tell me that they finished. They stayed til 5:30 in the morning and finished them. I'm annoyed because this broad didn't find it necessary to call me and tell me that before I got in my car and drove down there in the heat.

  I go in the owner's office to ask for my money because I worked last week. He says something along the lines of "the prodigal daughter has returned." OBVIOUSLY he thought he was talking to someone else because he COULD NOT have meant to say that to me. He says "work is here to do and you just disappeared." EFF MY LIFE!!!
  The reason why this pissed me the f*ck off (I don't curse.. not really) is that the secretary TOLD ME that she would let me know when to come in. That they needed to have the money in the budget for my pay. And THIS is why I need people to think about what they're going to say before they say it. If this fool had sat back and thought about it, he would've realized that since I don't have any other methods of income, then WHY would I choose to sit at home and not come in to work and get some money? That doesn't even make sense in the bizarro world. EFF MY LIFE!!
  The problem with this whole set up is OBVIOUSLY a lack of communication (and we KNOW how that's a recipe for success). Instead of him calling me himself to come in, he relays the message through the secretary and THEN it gets to me. WHAT?! I also don't like someone thinking something about me that isn't true. In this case, he just thought I wasn't purposely coming in to work. EFF YOU!! Get your act together and THEN call me. Matter of fact, don't call me because I want to be writing.
  I drove my hot ass back home. TOTAL waste of time, gas, energy, and strength. Mind you, this isn't the first time that something like this has happened with these people. Things like this make me want to set people on fire.
  You can call me in for a gig every now and then, but I can't deal with you..
  Needless to say, I no longer work for them.

I got this condo til Tuesday, then the mansion with the pool from Tuesday evening. I'll be enjoyin the rest of my summer.
    Dave Matthews Band concert this evening. Enjoy your weekend.

Peace and Love.. Nick

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Facebook... Me and You behind the bleachers.. 3 o'clock..

Bish, I wanna pour hot grease on you..
   This social media network thing is a big deal. I remember when facebook became big. It wasn't just for college students anymore. It was more "grown-up" than myspace. "Alright alright!" I went along. While I admit that it IS more grown up than myspace (an account I've deleted) I must admit that 2 years later I'm in a serious case of "hate" with facebook. My trips to the site have been narrowed down to almost nothing and every time I log in, there's a different reason to roll my eyes.. Eff a Facebook, and I'll tell you why.

1. They stay changing the layout. 
    Facebook acts like it's got multiple personality disorder. It doesn't know which layout it wants to be on any given day. Now, I'll admit that they've been at this current one for a while. But honestly, they keep thinking that they know what works best and they don't. I bet you the people that started facebook don't even use facebook. They just sit back and tweet all day about how fabulous facebook is. (I BET YOU!) And then when they DO change the layout, no matter how minor it is there's 27 different fan pages that pop up talkin bout "bring back the old layout." Lord have mercy. iCant.

2. People posting on my wall.
    This has gone beyond the realm of "Hey Nick, what's up?" or "Give me a call." Now people start posting all sorts of personal stuff. While I understand that it was great seeing me the other day, send me a message or something. Everyone else doesn't need to know that we got together (and no, I'm not trying to hide my dirt. I don't do dirt.) I'm an open person, I'll tell you whatever you want to know. I don't need Christina knowing that I went to the All-White Party with Tanya, knowing full well that Katy invited me to the "Pimps up, Hoes Down party on the same night." Not only that, but because Facebook switched the layout (AGAIN!) then I'm not sure how to access my security settings to keep non-friends from seeing that I went to a party, period! It's too much. It's like Facebook is secretly working with my mother (and ex boyfriend) to be able to pinpoint where I am at any particular moment. Keep that sh*t to yourself.

3. They let any ole body tag me in pics.
    Mind you, the pics don't even have to be of me. Party in the 7th? Tag Nick in the flyer. BISH, are you givin me a cut from the money at the door? No? Then don't do that. I had a friend that went through this phase of posting the "Hot Chocolate of the Day." Almost nekkid pics of black men. My Youth Pastor is my friend on facebook, DON'T do that junk! This random nekkid pic shows up in other people's feeds and it had nothing to do with me. Then I gotta go in and un-tag myself. Promoters wanna toss up pics of Nick at the All-White party? Go right ahead. It doesn't matter that it was at the end of the night and I got the "tired face" on. No one is asking me if they can, they just DO. Don't try and make it look like yo wack ass party was jumpin when YOU know and I know that it wasn't. Stop it!

4. I end up seeing crap I don't wanna see.
    Last year, I went through some withdrawal from this guy that I was head over heels for. I didn't want to see anything from him, so I "hid" him from my news feed. I didn't wanna read that he'd gone to NY and all his groupie broads were wishing him a good time. That was fine, but then mutual friends of ours would say crap to him and I'd have to hide them too. It's like I needed to go down the list of anyone that might have ANY interaction with him and hide them from my news feed too. COME ON!! The newest casualty of the "hide" button is the promoter of the party that he last went to. Because he was at the "Shorts and Stilettos" party and the promoter tossed up the pics. I don't wanna see that crap. Do I really need to see your comment status and the 50-lem hoes that say something like "you look lickable in your profile pic?" Do I really have to un-friend you to keep my sanity at bay? Sorry sweetie, I ain't got that kinda time. (But I'll MAKE it!)

5. They STAY suggestin people.
   I can't tell you how long my ex-boyfriend has been in the top corner of my Facebook page. GET THE MEMO!! I don't wanna be his friend, nuffsaid. After more than a year of popping up with the same friend suggestions, you would think that they'd get the hint and not suggest that person anymore. And JUST because I went to school with so-and-so doesn't mean I wanna play "catch up" with them now. I graduated high school 14 years ago, (Lord have mercy) and I barely wanted to know them then. Matter of fact, JUST to be contrary I'm not going to listen to ANY of your suggestions and just log in to Facebook just to clear my inbox. How bout that, are you HAPPY!? 

6. They let any ole body join.
    No Aunt Rose, as much love as I have for you I cannot accept you as my friend. I know you just wanna check up on your daughter through my page anyway. Thank GOD my mother doesn't even know how to work a Facebook.

7. Mafia Wars, Farmville, Sorority Life etc.
   I know that I should just slap up a "Nuffsaid" after that because EVERYONE with a Facebook knows what I'm talking about. But I'm tired of the little black sheep you found. I don't wanna hear about the new level you got to on Mafia Wars. No, unless the hybrid is real I don't care that you just gave me on in Sorority Life. this goes for the drinks, teddy bears, roses, hugs, and various other things that you're sending me. This junk isn't personable (and I'm ALL about being personable.) Not only that, but ya'll will flood my Facebook wall with Happy Birthday wishes and think you did your duty for the day. I don't check that ish like that! This is what we're doing now? Get thee away from me with that!
    I had another reason, but I think I'm gonna hand ya'll the mic. I'm contemplating a discontinuing of the whole Facebook thing. I'm worried that they'll still send me email notices like Myspace (that I deleted over a year ago) so I think I keep them around to make the email flood seem valid. (If that makes sense) UGH!  Checking it has become ONE MORE thing on my to do list that I cross off maybe twice a week. (IF it's lucky) I'm tired of it. It's becoming more trouble than it's worth. The only upside was Bejeweled Blitz and my computer is so slow that I can't even play THAT and hope for a high score. So what's the point? 
   Are any of you on Facebook? Does it still serve it's purpose? Have you REALLY gone to that little reunion at the bowling alley that your friends from high school keep saying ya'll should have? If you're not on Facebook, why aren't you? Don't you wanna cross, "poppin up on Nick's friend suggestions" off your bucket list? I think you should. 
   Speak your piece...

Monday, July 26, 2010

Off the top of the head... (Monday edition)

    I'm gonna be honest here. (It's the best policy ain't it?) I tried to be all "I got a new post, here's my fabulousness." I saw Inception again last night and had to drive to 2 different houses just to get back to the house I'm currently staying at. By the time I got in the house, I had to walk to dog(s) and THEN figure out how to bang out a blog post. Needless to say, I rolled over and fell asleep. (in my makeup.. UGH!) So this Monday, I'm just gonna keep it light and go off the top of the dome.

  1. WTF is it with Blogger? I just wanna type out a blog post and you wanna make things like "new paragraph" all hard. It ain't rocket science! Wordpress here I come.
  2. Sometimes things happen and I look Heavenward and say things like, "God, I SEE YOU!" Last week a few things like that happened to me. Things that make me not look crazy for wanting to write for a living. We'll see how this works out. Although I wouldn't mind an email from someone that reads my blog. That's my new hope.
   3. How do I get hired for a job, then work a total of 1 day in 2 weeks? That's not a job, that's a "gig." And if that's the case, then I can work this other gig and eff an inconsistent job. Nuff said. I get the feeling that if they'd hired someone that did marketing professionally then they couldn't pull that "text her on Sunday night, don't come in Monday crap." But that's just the way it is. Their inconsistency makes it easy to tell them where to go.
  4. The Dave Matthews Band concert is this Friday. I wouldn't even mind if it rained in the amphitheater because the atmosphere is so chill. In honor of this concert, I'm giving you the video of my favorite song. (Please hold...) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7in-9E3ImQ Fact, the bassist sitting in the pond joined the band when he was 16. (I think that's cool)
  5. Considering I just found out about the Foreign Exchange a little over a month ago, it leads me to wonder. "What other music am I missing out on." I haven't updated in a while. Let me know some music you think I might be missing out on. I've very open minded, but my library is mostly scores and European Lounge Music.
  6. Do you look at some shows you used to watch as a kid and cringe when you watch them now? "Saved By The Bell" is that for me. The storyline, the clothes (Z. Cavarricci's REALLY!?"), the hair. All just various levels of "corn" to me. (As in corny)
  7. For those of you that workout, what's your motivation? Some days, I can get it up. (Pause) Other days, I can't. It doesn't help that I hate working out indoors, but I have to wait til evening because I'm allergic to the sun. That's just a fact.
   8. The lady at the Clinique counter over the weekend suggested I have Lupus because of my sun allergies/poisoning. Thanks a lot! Now that's one more thing for me to check out and "NO," I don't want your Moisturizer!
   9. I got a new commenter last week. Someone that came across my blog and stopped to comment! I'm excited about that! Although I need to hurry up and get Google Analytics.
   10. Really, do I need to see Inception again? In IMAX!? Just hurry up and get it to DVD already. I bet you they're gonna re-release it for Christmas or Awards season.
   Lox hav-es mercy! (Jamaican saying, sound it out.)
  I think that's it,
    What's on your mind this Monday?
I'll be better come Wednesday...
   Peace and Love, Nick